The biggest risk is that you are going to have so much fun you will never want to leave the scene!
As with almost everything we do in life, there are risks in being a swinger. Just as with our other activities, we can lessen the risks by taking a few simple steps.
What if my partner runs off with someone else?
Swinging will not increase the chances of your partner leaving you, in fact by being open and honest with each other about your sexual needs and fantasies, and working with your partner to explore all your fantasies, you will decrease the chances of them looking for sexual releases elsewhere.
Sex is not usually the major driving factor in relationship breakdown. The main reason for most breakups is a failure to communicate.
What if I catch a STD?
Almost everyone in the scene will use a condom if you ask them to. If they will not use a condom and you feel uncomfortable with that - don't play with them.
Research carried out by doctors in the USA have found that despite a majority of swingers not using a condom, STD´s (Sexually transmitted diseases) have a lower incidence in the swinging community than in the general population.
Again it comes down to being honest. If a swinger contracts a STD they will almost always know who they played with recently, thus where they contracted it, they also know who they have played with since. They are thus able to alert both sets of partners and get them to visit a special clinic.
If a person outside the scene catches an infection it is usually as the result of a one night stand with someone picked up when drunk in a bar or club, often they do not even know who the person was or how to contact them again.
Genuine swingers will alert the people they have played with so that they can all get treated, the casual pick up is often someone who cannot be contacted, and will go on to spread their infection on their next one night stand.
What if the person I meet is dangerous?
The speed with which people are now able to make contact with, and arrange to meet is increasing the chances of being attacked by violent partners. However, we have never heard even gossip of anyone we know, or any of their friends being attacked. We have heard of people being stalked, but they have left themselves exposed to this by letting the playmate come to their home on a first meeting!
Reduce the risk of anything happening to you by following a few simple steps.
- Never meet a new contact at your home, their home or a hotel room. Meet in a bar, a hotel lounge or a swingers club, where you can chat and get to know each other. If you then have doubts you can walk away in safety.
- Always insist on talking to the person on a mobile telephone, so that you can make a note of its number. If a person is not willing to give a mobile number, they are almost certainly not a genuine swinger. They will probably be someone cheating on their spouse. If they are lying to a spouse, they are almost certainly lying to you as well.
- Leave a sealed letter with a friend or at home with all the details of who you are meeting, where you are meeting, and the telephone number, chat ID and email address, profile name and website where you met the person you are going to meet. Then should something happen your friends and the authorities will be able to start looking for you.
What if I fall in love with a swinger?
If the person is a single, and so are you; and if the feelings are reciprocated then congratulations.
If the person is married, don't tell them you love them, as you are likely to find yourself short of a lover. Married swingers are not there to satisfy the needs of singles, they are playing with you to satisfy the fantasies that they and their spouse want to explore.
Remember that love and sex are not linked. The claim that one leads to the other, or that you can only have great sex if you love someone is a falsehood. Many relationships survive with only love, where for one reason or another sex is not an option. Just as many longstanding relationships are purely sexual, and are as equally fulfilling as one based on love.
How can I tell if I am joining a Genuine Swingers Site?
There are hundreds of swingers sites on the internet, all claiming to offer the best selection of members and many "millions of users". The best way to sort out which sites are real, and which are money making scams is to check the status of the owners. The best sites for contacting other real swingers are those run by swingers. They have the interest of the community at heart, rather than their own pocket books or shareholders. We know several webmasters running swingers sites simply for your money. They are not swingers, they do not want to be involved in the scene in any way except taking the money from your pockets.
- Check how old the site is by checking the domain records known as the "whois" (go to https://domains.whois.com/ enter the website name, then check owner details. If the name and address does not match the website contact page, or it is a company name, you are probably on a fake or corporate site). If a site has been around a long time, it is probably run by people enthusiastic enough to keep working on it.
- Are the owners known swingers? You will find sites where the owners claim to be swingers, but no-one has ever met them!
- Look for sites run by webmasters who also put back into the community by running or organizing events where swingers can meet.
- Ask people at your swingers club which sites they use.
- We recommend just a few, As I run some sites of my own, I am biased and will always recommend my own or my friends sites first.
- www.dirty-david.com - Our contacts site - multi lingual and worldwide contacts
- Adult Friend Finder - Probably the biggest in the world - multi lingual and worldwide contacts
- SDC - Very good site with lots of information and events
- Swinging Heaven - UK Focused very good site
- Parejas - Spanish site for swingers in Spain
- OnSwingers - Spanish site for swingers in Spain
As with all internet contact, you should check identity before getting involved.
A few quick ways to check ownership:
- Make sure the site has a contact page with the owners names, postal address and telephone number.
- Make sure the details on the contact page is the same as on the internet "whois" (see 5 paragraphs above.)
- Ring the telephone number. Talk to the owner, ask them questions about swinging, you will soon find out if the owner is real or fake.